The Perfect Christian Novel

Tim Challies, a really popular Christian blogger, is having some fun with Christian novelists. He started writing what he's calling the "ultimate Christian novel". It "seamlessly blends today’s most popular genres into one beautiful, compelling, cohesive whole." The title: Cassidy: Amish Vampiress of the Tribulation.

"It’s an Amish novel; it’s a vampire novel; it’s an end-times novel. It’s the best of all worlds." Here's his back cover so far:

He is handsome. He is romantic. He is Amish.

Twenty-three year old Cassidy lives a simple life in the Amish countryside of Lancaster County. Simple, that is, until Slade Byler moves into the old Lapp farm. Cassidy finds herself irresistibly drawn to the handsome Slade; but she fears to share the secret that she alone knows. For Cassidy is an immortal, a princess in the long line of ancient Amish vampires. Will Slade’s love grow cold when he learns this great secret? Can she give to him a heart that does not beat?

Meanwhile, the strength of the Antichrist grows as he consolidates his power and seeks to destroy the peace-loving people of Pennsylvania. A blossoming romance unfolds between Cassidy and Slade as the world around them changes forever. They must fight to stay alive, they must fight to keep their forbidden love a secret, but, as Amish, they must not fight at all.

In this irresistible tale of intrigue and adventure, set against global upheaval, the bonnet meets the cape in a story sure to span the ages.

Yes, this is a joke. No, there will be no novel about Cassidy the Satan-slaying Amish Vampire. Thought you might enjoy though.